Sometimes it takes everything going right for someone to realize that it isn’t at all what they wanted. Mary Beth experienced precisely that, as she discovers the death of a dream on today’s episode of RediscovHer.

It started at the end of online dating.

• As she signed out of her online dating apps for the final time, Mary Beth was contacted by someone she’s known for over two years. 
• He was kind, considerate, generous, and thoughtful – everything Mary Beth thought she was looking for.
• Despite him being her ideal partner, it was moving too quickly. She needed to slow down, and that was because she wanted something nobody could give her.

What did she want that he was unable to give?

• Mary Beth knew what she wanted the relationship to look and feel like, but it wasn’t until she dated this guy that she realized it wasn’t about simply finding a relationship. It was about recreating her past. 
• Mary Beth realized that every time she dated someone with great qualities, she still wanted something more. And that “something” was her husband – something nobody in the world could replicate. 
• His death was the loss of a dream, and Mary Beth realizes she just isn’t ready to be in a relationship.
• She looks at the online dating experiences as a blessing from the heavenly father because he kept her entertained and distracted during the time of self-growth she needed. 

Moving forward without a man.

• Mary Beth is ready to be without a man. After two years since her husband’s passing, she’s at a point where she had the time and mental space to grow.
• Now she can let herself be alone and grieve the things she needs to grieve.
• When she was dating the nice man, all she wanted to do was take. She wanted to feel validated. She wanted to feel heard. She wanted attention. And yet, she wasn’t able to give much in return. Partially because she was overwhelmed from online dating, but also because she just wasn’t ready.

The importance of grief.

• Mary Beth realizes she is still grieving the loss of her husband and the loss of her mother. 
• She won’t only grieve the loss of the people, but she’ll also grieve the death of her dreams of clarifying situations that arose within those relationships.
• The grief process will take time, and Mary Beth is now willing and ready to dedicate the time she needs to sort out her emotions.

You can get in touch with host Mary Beth Rosebrough on Instagram @rediscov.her.

MUSIC CREDIT: AudioJungle