ReD 012: His Dog Ate His Homework: Players and Playboys

Mary Beth Rosebrough, Reinvent yourself, rediscover yourself, online dating

Online dating is filled with players and playboys, making it difficult to find an authentic date. In today’s episode of RediscovHER, Mary Beth dives into the telltale signs you’re flirting with a player or playboy and how to avoid them online. She also touches on her time using stream of conscious journaling and how that’s helped her process her own emotions.

Defining players and playboys:

  • A player is someone who dates women other than you, but claims you’re exclusive. (AKA a cheater.) 
  • On the other hand, a playboy likes noncommittal relationships. He might only be dating you, but he doesn’t want anything serious. 

Signs you’re dating a player or playboy online:

  • He’s always ‘busy.’ From the wise words of an Instagram meme: “Another word for ‘busy’ is a**hole.” If he’s ‘too busy,’ he’s not. He’s just too busy for you. 
  • If he isn’t available for weeks at a time, that’s alarming. If he wants to see you, he’ll make time. 
  • When he wants someone who will “go with the flow,” he wants someone at his convenience.
  • Players and playboys act super vulnerable to prey on women’s emotions. His sob story might be true, but why is he telling you so early on?
  • When you hang out with him, does he keep their phone facedown, turned off, or hidden from you? Is he still on dating apps?
  • Does he freak out if you use the words “girlfriend” or “boyfriend”?

Your first date checklist:

  • Find out what he does for a living. A sketchy response means a sketchy man.
  • Be upfront and ask him if he’s single. Is he separated but legally married? Divorced? Does he have children?
  • Be skeptical if a guy claims to love his ex-wife, even if it’s because she’s the mother of his kids.
  • If a guy is 50 years old and has never been married or has no children, he never will.

Stream of Conscious Journaling

  • Mary Beth writes whenever she feels overwhelmed by her emotions. She knows she might initially feel negative by writing in her journal, but it is necessary. 
  • The takeaway? When journaling starts to bring up negative emotions, that’s the time to keep going.
  • You might go off on a tangent when writing, but it’s probably connected to what you’re feeling; developing your thoughts is how to write yourself out of that feeling.
  • Mary Beth recommends The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron to learn how journaling can help process emotions. Also, check out Mary Beth’s past episode to learn about her stream of consciousness journaling process.

You can get in touch with host Mary Beth Rosebrough on Instagram @rediscov.her.


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