ReD 011: Develop a Thick Skin: Rules for Online Dating

Mary Beth Rosebrough, Reinvent yourself, rediscover yourself, online dating

When Mary Beth started online dating, she had no idea what to expect. The same holds true for many women; the expectations just don’t meet the reality. In today’s episode of RediscovHER, Mary Beth goes over her initial reactions when online dating, and what to expect if you want to start.

You need to have a thick skin.

  • Mary Beth thought dating would be like it was in her early 20s – they ask you out, you go on a date, and then you become boyfriend and girlfriend. (Hint: it’s not.)
  • You’ll find yourself constantly rejected, with little to no warning, and people just stop talking to you when they’re finished. And it’s not personal. 
  • When online dating, you might talk to ten different guys at a time. At any point, you might realize you don’t want to talk to a guy anymore. It’s not that he’s a bad guy, but once you know it won’t work with someone, you just stop talking.
  • When she first started online dating, Mary Beth was taken aback when a guy would ghost her. But it happens all the time, and it’s just the name of the game.

Mary Beth’s tips for first-time virtual daters: 

  • Text on the website or app you use, don’t immediately give out your phone number. Eventually, you’ll move off the app. But initially, it’s a much safer option when you don’t know the guy.
  • If he immediately wants to move off the app (especially if he then deletes himself from your dating queue), that’s a red flag. 
  • Some dating apps allow you to check a match’s location while he’s in your queue. So if he deletes himself, that might be a sign he’s traveling around to see other people.
  • Mary Beth uses a burner phone number to avoid sharing her actual phone number. Women need to protect themselves; a mature man will understand that.

Be safe on your first date:

  • When you first meet a guy, meet at a very public place. Go to a coffee shop, a restaurant, or even a walk around a park.
  • Before meeting a guy, google his name, look at his Facebook and social media, just make sure he’s who he says he is.
  • Look at the photos he uses on the dating site. If there is only one or two, or if the pictures are grainy, he might be lying about who he is.

We all deserve someone who has good qualities. It’s easy to be mean when hiding behind a screen. As you navigate online dating, remember your worth and value, and hold yourself up to the standards you deserve. 

You can get in touch with host Mary Beth Rosebrough on Instagram @rediscov.her.


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